A Christmas Rivalry
by ilovetvalot
Summary: Penelope still needs an acceptable Christams tree. After sending Morgan and Reid out unsupervised in yesterday's "Oh, Christmas Tree!", she decides they need a little supervision on this field trip. Enter David Rossi.


**Author's Note: **_**Hold on folks, this is a long note today! First, Tonnie and I would like to announce that signups for Chit Chat on Author's Corner's January Challenge-The Happy New Year's Challenge are open thru December 30, 2010. Simply swing by the forum (you can link to it thru our profile pages) and sign up with the pairing you'd like to see written and three prompts associated with the holiday. On Jan 1, 2011, you'll be assigned a random pairing (not the one you usually write) and three prompts to write by January 30.**_

_**Second, I have a question for my readers. I truly enjoyed last night's CM episode, "What Happens at Home" and the introduction of the character Agent Ashley Seaver. I intend to do some stories with her character incorporated into a pairing and I'd like to know who you guys would like to see me pair her with. I know the obvious choice is Reid, but what about Hotch or Rossi. Anybody that knows my work knows I'm a sucker for older man/younger woman pairings. So, shoot me a pm or review and let me know what you think. I think the world of you guys and value your opinions!**_

_**Just a reminder, December 25th is right around the corner. Everyone that signed up for the CM Christmas Fic Exchange, please remember your stories. We want this to be a WONDERFUL gift experience for all involved. If you have any questions, feel free to pm either myself (ilovetvalot) or tonnie2001969.**_

_**In other forum news, please check out our newest discussion thread, "Serious vs. Light - Which gets the most response?" It is a discussion of serious vs. light stories and the response they get from readers. We also have new interviews with Clarebones and musicxlife4 up for your reading pleasure.**_

_**Also please check out the discussion thread entitled, "The Fine Line Between T and M ratings". There's a great ongoing discussion there, too.**_

_**Finally, if any of you have any idea for issues/activities that you'd like to see "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum tackle in the form of discussion threads and/or challenges, please let us know. We want to bring you all some really fun threads in the New Year!**_

_**As always, thank you to every reader, reviewer, and person that favorites or alerts one of our stories. Hearing from each of you means a great deal to each of us. We truly value your thoughts and opinions. Now, on with our story!**_

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**A Christmas Rivalry**

Yawning widely as he arched his back, David Rossi glanced at the silver clock on his desk. Almost there, he thought contentedly. Another half hour and he could go home to his dog and his scotch and forget that the calendar had drawn yet another day closer to his least favorite holiday of the year.

Or, at least, that had been his plan once upon a time. A mere thirty minutes earlier, he would have been still ensconced in his happy thoughts.

Too bad a redheaded, heavily pregnant whirlwind had other ideas about his upcoming evening.

He should never have called out when he heard a tap on his office door. It was his own fault, really.

But the sad truth was that he had indeed invited the then unknown visitor inside his office.

And it had been her.

Not just any her, either. No. Any other woman he wouldn't have had a problem telling to go to the devil. Any other woman he would have personally given explicit directions to hell.

But when Penelope Garcia looked at you with those hopeful eyes and pointed her protruding belly, heavy with Derek Morgan's unborn child in your direction...you obeyed. Whatever harebrained, crazy assed plan she concocted in that devious mind of hers...you went with it.

That is, if you knew what was good for you...

And he did.

David Rossi had been a quick study. He'd quickly learned upon his return to the BAU unit that he'd helped create that to defy a woman like Garcia could bring untold pain on a human being…the kind of pain he wasn't especially keen upon ever feeling again. Hell, it had hurt badly enough the first time.

A wise man did not make the same mistake twice where Penelope was concerned.

And hell, he wouldn't have had the heart to say no to Kitten anyway in her present condition, he silently admitted to himself.

Even if it did mean he would be forfeiting most of his previously peacefully designed evening to do something he thought he'd put behind him years ago.

Christmas tree hunting.

Which was how, half an hour later when he was supposed to be on his way to his cabin, dog and liquor waiting dutifully for him, he instead found himself sitting in the passenger seat of Derek Morgan's SUV. And as if that wasn't enough, Spencer Reid chattered animatedly in the backseat about Christmas's origin.

God save him. Now!

"Why exactly was I commandeered to ride shotgun on this particular adventure again, Morgan?" Rossi growled from the passenger seat as he glanced over his shoulder.

"Because," Derek declared shortly, his hands clenching around the steering wheel, "Mama didn't trust me not to strangle Pretty Boy back there and leave him hanging from one of the trees on the lot."

"Yeah, but exactly why do you need another tree? Weren't you here last night?" Dave asked, glancing at Morgan.

"Ask the Brainiac," Morgan grumbled, lifting his eyes to glare at Reid in the rearview mirror.

"Well?" Dave asked shortly, looking over his shoulder at Reid.

"It wasn't my fault," Reid replied as he shook his head. "Morgan thinks brawn is better than character."

"What?" Dave asked, his forehead wrinkling as he felt a migraine begin to invade his already aching head.

"The genius thinks a Christmas tree should resemble kindling for the fireplace. I say it should be full. And green," Derek stressed.

"Do I even want to try to understand this?" Rossi sighed, silently consigning them both to the pits of a fiery hell for ruining his plans for a peaceful evening.

"No," Reid and Derek said simultaneously, glaring at each other in the mirror as Derek pulled into the Christmas tree mart.

Looking between the two men as he unfastened his seatbelt, Dave reminded himself that shooting a colleague would take a hell of a lot of paperwork to justify. "Look, you two, I'm giving you fifteen minutes. That's it."

"I only need five," Morgan grumbled under his breath.

"Yes, that sounds accurate," Spencer told Dave sarcastically, tilting his head toward his other teammate. "Morgan is used to finding the ostentatious in any given situation and exploiting it to its fullest potential."

"For the last time, Reid," Morgan retorted, narrowing his eyes in warning, "a Christmas tree is supposed to draw attention."

"The tree I chose last night did draw attention," Reid insisted, looking at Rossi pleadingly.

"Yeah," Morgan snorted, "I noticed how it lit up like a firecracker when I cranked on the lights last night."

Scrubbing a hand over his face as the two men argued like a couple of five year olds, Rossi prayed for strength. "Enough," Dave said, nodding toward the lot as he prepared to do battle with the forces of nature. "Let's just do this."

XXX

An hour later, Dave's hand hovered longingly over his firearm as he watched Reid and Morgan debate the merits of the sixth Douglas fir they'd stopped in front of. Glancing up as he heard a movement behind him, he nodded tiredly to the elderly man walking toward him.

"Oh, Lordy," the old man groaned, running a hand through his white hair as recognition dawned in his tired eyes. "They're back."

"Pardon?" Dave asked, raising an inquiring eyebrow.

"Those two," the lot keeper said, nodding toward an arguing Reid and Morgan. "They were here last night."

"My colleagues," Dave informed the other man glumly. "They've been having a small disagreement," Dave added unnecessarily as the feuding voices rose loudly in the night air.

Snorting, the old man nodded. "They had quite a few of those last night. Had to stay half an hour late cause of 'em. I swear, they fight worse than me and the missus."

"You ought to work with them," Dave commiserated. "The big one is the cockiest son of a bitch on earth and the skinny one never shuts up," he complained, shaking his head grimly.

Lips twitching, the lot keeper nodded once. "Got two grandsons just like 'em. I'm bettin' you wouldn't wanna imagine life without 'em around, though."

"What gave it away?" Dave sighed heavily, his gaze falling fondly on the still arguing duo.

"You ain't drawn that gun on your side yet," the elderly man grinned.

"I tell myself it wouldn't be worth the bureaucratic paperwork," Dave muttered, watching as Derek lightly shoved Reid away from one of the trees. He groaned aloud as the younger man went careening backward into the pine tree behind him, the other Christmas trees in the row falling like dominoes.

Heaving a heavy sigh as he shook his head and gave the lot keeper an apologetic look, Dave murmured, "But I'm beginning to reassess my position."

"And I'm beginning to reassess my prices," the elderly man shook his head as Dave strode away toward the two men, his hands waving animatedly as the two younger men pointed at each other.

Smiling, the old man shook his head. Christmas might be a time for miracles...why was it nobody ever talked about the mess that went along with it?

_**Finis**_


End file.
